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Women, statistically speaking, live longer than men. But when you figure in the time lost to the lunar cycle, I think we might be a bit behind.

Most women I know consider the first day of their cycle–their monthly visitor, their Aunt Flo, their curse–as a day lost to time. I guess if I could push myself to be all motherearth holistic I would say that’s the day that my uterus tries to return to the Great Mother, who seems to reside at the magnetic center of the Earth. I seriously feel the molten core of the Earth dragging my uterus to join it. I’m sure some of you ladies know exactly what I’m talking about.

From PBS Nova

So if a gal starts at age 13 and has a good run until 53, for neat math, that’s 40 years of participating in this joyous cycle. 40 years=480 months=480 first days=16 months lost to our glorious connection to the Earth and its glowing satellite.

Despite what Tampax and Kotex U commercials would lead us to believe, life is different during “that time of the month.” If we are conservative and say three days a month are devoted to this sacred offering to the Earth Mother, that equals 1440 days=48 months lost. That’s four years. Oddly enough, that’s also the average number of years that women have on men in the statistical game. They’re not extra years. They’re pay back. The Earth Mother owes us.

I think it’s time for more ibuprofen. I’m *cheerfully* banking part of my extra four years today.