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The purse I’m currently carrying was on clearance at the discount store, Marshall’s, for $10, and I love it. Even on clearance I felt guilty buying it because I have a bin full of handbags in my closet that are fully functional and attractive, but no longer new and fun. I can just see my great grandparents giving me that look from their black and white photos and they’re thinking I’m a spendthrift. My grandmothers lived in the era where you had one pair of shoes and you wore them to school and went barefoot at home.

Because I like a bargain, I signed up for those emails from Beyond the Rack. I usually don’t have time to actually look at what’s “on sale,” but today I clicked and saw handbags 80% off, so I clicked again.

What the hell? What am I missing?
This little beauty, regularly priced at $1695.70, is a steal at $1374.99. A-sphincter-says-what? For a handbag? Does it also give massages? Double as a home for a family in a third-world country?

This is where I realize in a very in-your-face, painful way that I am a peasant. You can decorate a turd, my husband would say, but it’s still a turd. Which is another sign that I’m a peasant. Only peasants have saying like that that they actually repeat and pass down generation to generation.

I guess I’ll take my red $10 handbag and head back to the field.