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Listen, little bastard (LB),
I don’t know how you got there and i’m guessing you’re no happier about it than I am, but how about letting go and traveling on your merry gnome way? There’s no reason to take out your job frustrations on my temple. I know that the gnome that got the travelocity gig is not nearly as talented or as good looking, but sometimes it’s about who you know, not what you know. I can see that you have a strong work ethic as you’ve managed to grip that area above my right temple very securely all night and all day. To whom do I address the letter of recommendation praising your persistence and high quality of work? If you’re promoted,does that mean you’ll leave my temple?

Ok, if that does not work, how about bribery? What would you like that would make you leave my right temple alone? I tried Diet Pepsi and that did not seem to appease you. I don’t have any wine, so apologies. A cold beer? I just don’t think my stomach will go for that, especially since your grip on my right temple has my stomach rather annoyed. A nap? If only.

Well, I can see you’re an individual of high ethical standards. So I guess it’s chemical warfare. I’m bringing out the big guns. May the best stubborn bitch win. See you again in a month.