Last night our oldest son was arrested. For larceny. The victim was a family member. A family member who was trying to help him. If you’ve read this blog from the beginning, you know where that gets you with this particular child.
This was not on my bucket list. But it’s now on my parental resume.
This morning I found myself thinking about how to approach my blog for 2012. What voice should I have? There are tons of blogs that feature sarcasm. I follow several that do it very well. There are tons of blogs that take a glass half full approach. Many are Christian blogs and, while that might be the right way to approach life, reading them generally makes me want to gag.
I guess the voice I’ll take is mine. Sometimes sarcastic. Sometimes pollyanna-ish.
For today I’m going with detached. Knowing that I should be more upset that our son is in jail and likely will be over the holiday, but coldly realistic when I remind myself that he absented himself from both of his homes for the holidays the last few years, so what’s the difference on our end? Sarcastic enough to be relieved that his being in jail takes away the awkwardness of pretending while I ask him to pass the gravy that he didn’t stab another family member in the back, again, and still fails to feel any real guilt. Pollyanna-ish enough to hope that this experience provokes a transformation into something better. Into the person I knew he could be when he was our silly little boy.
I wonder if they play Christmas carols over the PA in the county jail. And if the beds are hard.
Motherhood. A little like having a tapeworm.